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Monday, November 21, 2005

Moving 360° Gets You Nowhere

Countdown to Xbox 360I’m sitting here watching G4 Tech TV’s Countdown to Xbox 360 (why I don’t know) on the eve of the release of Xbox 360 (because marketing says 360 is bigger than just 3) and they are reporting about the Xbox VIP release party Microsoft is throwing in the Hollywood Hills. Of course, the only people invited to this party are celebrities (apparently they are very important people in America). My television was graced with the likes of Paris Hilton, Snoop Dogg and Carmen Electra. The interviewer asked Electra which launch title she wanted to play and she just stared at him like he had a Chihuahua growing out the side of his head proving she doesn't even know what an Xbox is. The best part of the news story was when they reported that after the party all the VIPs get free Xbox 360s. Thank God, because how else would a multimillionaire like Matthew Perry afford one?

My brother works for a game developer that is working on a 360 title for Microsoft. When they asked Microsoft for free Xboxes for all the employees for Christmas, Microsoft said no because, apparently, they needed all the extra ones for that party.

This show continues to insult my intelligence by interviewing various video game magazine editors claiming the PS3 will fail because blu-ray discs cost too much to manufacture causing the cost of games to go way up. WTF? So they might cost 0.5 cents more than a current DVD disc. It’s just plastic you stupid fuck. It’s the blue laser in the DVD drive that is expensive to build. Hence the name blue ray.

Another moron suit from Electronic Arts shilled the companies’ latest movie-game travesty The Godfather. They claimed that the Xbox is next gen because, "You can destroy and then rebuild the worlds.", and, "Give the characters real emotion like in film."

So the Xbox 360 is capable of physics and facial animation that has been available in games for the last three years? Is there is nothing but fucking stupid people in this show?

Epic just showed off Gears of War running at eight frames a second. Now that’s 360 degrees of next gen Microsoft power baby! I’ve seen pocket calculators execute programs faster than the 360. (unless they were running a Microsoft OS)

There is absolutely nothing impressive about Xbox 360. All the games look like high resolution PC games running at laughable framerates. Sony has already wiped their ass with this console then they demoed Metal Gear Solid 4 running on the PlayStation 3.

Microsoft is like a dog chasing its own tail. The Xbox 360 will do nothing more than take over the current market share occupied by the Xbox and survive due to the future sales of the overrated Halo 3. My brother asked our good friend, Artiste Extraordinaire and Halo addict, Eric to name any good game on Xbox other than Halo. His only answer was, "but Halo is good." 'Nuff said.

I have come to the conclusion the video game industry is run by complete and utter assholes.

Fuck Xbox 360 and fuck all the morons in line at Best Buy waiting to play yet another version of Madden Football.

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6 Comments:

  • Don't forget M$'s biggest innovation of all! The blue screen of death is now a black screen of death! Woo-hoo for progress!!!

    By Blogger CapnG, at Tue Nov 22, 01:13:00 AM  

  • PS3 is the shit mfers. I have absolutely no empirical evidence to base this opinion on but I just don't like microsoft.

    By Anonymous Chaseman, at Tue Nov 22, 01:04:00 PM  

  • long live ATARI

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Tue Nov 22, 01:07:00 PM  

  • Come on Zain - after playing the 360 for a few hours today i can honestly say it is better than the PS2. we are still at the early stages of development so give the guys a break while they try and figure out truly cool multi-threading applications. PGR was fun and so is COD. but i do agree with you - right now, the games look marginally better than a PC version with a high end graphics card.

    By Blogger Sherpa, at Tue Nov 22, 04:15:00 PM  

  • When is google comming out with a gaming system ?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Tue Nov 22, 06:33:00 PM  

  • Well said Zain, just reading your blob made me angry, what a joke... just another reason why I hate M$... wow I'm sure a whole slew of rich people, really needed free Xbox 360's what would their christmas have been like with out them? Oh I don't amazing like all the others? blah... *grumble*

    Zain, you're my hero.

    By Blogger Jay, at Sun Nov 27, 07:25:00 PM  

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