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Sunday, November 13, 2005

Trans-gressions

TransformersFor those who don't know, there's currently a live action version of the Transformers in production that's due out 2007-ish. If you're worried that Hollywood is going to butcher yet another of our cherished childhood memories, don't worry, it won't look a damn thing like Transformers by the time they're finished.

Here's the latest from Don "League of Extraordinary Nonsense" Murphy's message board:

"I read the Kurtzman and Orci (co-writers of such literary gems as Xena: Warrior Princess, Alias, and the recent box office bomb The Island) draft this week. A seriously terrific piece of writing. There is a reason why these guys are so in demand. The draft I read Mr. Bay (as in Micheal "cue bombs" Bay of Pearl Harbour "fame") has been working on with them for many weeks. There are still things that can be done on it, and will be, but it is a seriously kick ass piece of writing.

Which leads me again to something that I cannot repeat often enough. This film WILL NEVER BE like the cartoon or the comic. There is one reason for that- we are NOT making an animated film. We never were. If you want JUST giant robots kicking each other’s ass (and that is perfectly cool) you have the dvds, the comics, the new ova dvds. We are making a live action summer blockbuster designed to introduce the idea of Transformers to a worldwide audience. That means humans aplenty in a film where they respond to the robots".

Translation: FUCK YOU FANBASE!

So they're making it from "the human point of view"? Hey asswipe, I'm not throwing down $10 to see a movie about robots from a human perspective. I'm watching the movie and I am HUMAN. I already have human fucking perspective!!!

Apparently hollywood believes we've all suffered collective amnesia and completely forgotten the most popular toy of the 1980’s that wasn’t Cabbage related. Not to mention unlike its peers who sunk into the nostalgic mire, Transformers survived. After a brief hiatus it returned in the form of the surprise hit Beast Wars, followed by the highly unpopular Beast Machines. In an attempt to recharge the market, Hasbro brought us Robots in Disguise, blending the two previous franchises together and has since gone on to produce three more gimmick-heavy lines of Transformers (Armada, Energon and currently Cybertron). Plans are afoot to bring out a "re-imagined" G1 line in 2006 to stir the memories of the old school in preparation for the big feature film. So how exactly is the worldwide audience ignorant?

You want proof? I guarantee I can travel to any country on Earth and show someone a picture of Optimus Prime and they'll at least have an inkling of who it is. Try doing that with a clip from Extraordinary Gentlemen.

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1 Comments:

  • How bad is this movie gonna be?

    Producer: Don Murphy (The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen & Double Dragon)

    Director: Michael Bay (Pearl Harbor & The Island)

    Writers: John Rogers (Catwomen), Roberto Orci (The Island and various cable TV shows)

    Optimus Prime: NOT Peter Cullen

    Is this not a recipe for a RAZZIE award winner or what?

    By Blogger Zain, at Tue Nov 15, 03:30:00 PM  

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