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Sunday, June 18, 2006

Teasimus Prime

As a surprise to no one, Paramount will be releasing a teaser trailer for the upcoming film The Transformers by Michael Bay as leaked in this article. The fact that people are so interested in reading any morsel of info about a teaser, I realized how acceptable releasing them has become. It’s a common, yet cancerous, practice in Hollywood.

If you happen to be the type of brain dead consumer Hollywood panders to, you may be asking yourself, "What’s wrong with teasers? I think they are as cool as watching Ford cars that never turn right."

Well I may be stating the obvious here, but a "teaser" trailer is merely an ADVERTISEMENT FOR A F#CKIN’ ADVERTISEMENT!! That’s right; the entire entertainment industry is now compelled to advertise that they will be releasing an advertisement (a traditional trailer) for crappy movies no one wants to watch. Even the video game industry has adopted this practice as seen with teasers for overrated games like Halo and Tomb Raider.

Advertising the release of an advertisement is a blatant sign of the complete and utter contempt the entire entertainment industry has for its customers whom they rely on to pay for their many yachts and hookers. I’m waiting for the day when the actual movie itself becomes one giant commercial for various products... WAIT A MINUTE!

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  • So what does that mean when you're browsing a website and see a banner ad for the teaser trailer?

    By Blogger CapnG, at Mon Jun 19, 03:22:00 AM  

  • It works like this. A company gets a budget of 100 million to make a movie. It spends 20 million for the actual production, then they need to come up with a way to spend the 80 million. Well, thats where marketting comes in. Spend 20 million (same as the cost of the production) for the teaser. Spend another 20 million for the trailer. Then spend 40 million for all the other shit like signing up with pepsi and Doritos for doing a contest to win a car that has nothning to do with the movie. or pepsi or doritos, but see, pepsi got a bulk deal on the car because it did another contest with GM when xbox 360 was released, caz as you know when you buy an xbox 360, you'll most likely buy a car right after to take it home in.

    Also, they need to spend a few million on a dumbass viral add website which has a cool graphic made by a high school kid learning photoshop and a stolen countdown of a clock that goes backwards when it reaches 0 and no one cares to turn it off, so it will end up counting up forever causing morons to think that there is more to the site than meets the eye, so they go post on their favourite message board of what they think is gonna happen, and what they found out by downloading the already stolen scripts that was used on the site.

    By Anonymous I wasn't here nor there, at Fri Jul 07, 10:18:00 PM  

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