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Saturday, April 04, 2009

Movie Review: The Love Guru

loveguru62.

As you watch The Love Guru and soak up its “comedy”, “dialog”, “characters”, “acting” and “plot” just keep in your mind the number 62. Why? Because this “movie” cost over $62 million American dollars to make. Not $62,000, not $62, not 62 cents, but sixty-two MILLION dollars.

Instead of producing a movie that makes the viewer want to punch baby unicorns, $62,000,000 could have bought 72,303 pairs of Dolce & Gabbana shoes; 70,392 gold bars; hired 26,000 hookers; 10,833 diamond rings; 203 Ferraris; 33 yachts; 18 condos in NYC; 3 private jets; --

OR

-- removed 65,000 landmines from the ground; vaccinated 730,337 children against deadly diseases we have cured; provided 37,015 people with health care; sheltered 2,167 homeless people for a year; teach 3,100,000 people to read; or have fed 6,500,000 starving children.

And you wonder why we f#ckin’ hate Hollywood.

The Love Guru gets a rating of:

0 out of 4 STARS AND 62 DEFIBRILLATION ATTEMPTS TO REVIVE MIKE MYERS CAREER.

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3 Comments:

  • You wouldn't be able to buy all that stuff, because you'd have to give half of the money to marketing anyway, and you'd also have to spend some money on filming yourself doing the good deeds.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Sun Apr 05, 04:08:00 AM  

  • Actually, if you factor out the salaries of the various "actors" hired to create this dreck, I think the total available film budget does indeed work out to around $62...

    By Blogger CapnG, at Sun Apr 05, 04:22:00 PM  

  • What the hell are you talking about The Love Guru ranks right up there with Bridge on the River Kwai .......

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Sun Apr 05, 04:56:00 PM  

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