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Saturday, March 20, 2010

Movie Review: Law Abiding Citizen

Law Abiding CitizenLaw Abiding Citizen was 109 minutes too long. The second the main character portrayed by Gerard "This IS Sparta" Butler (whose best work was in Dracula 2000) was revealed to be an black ops engineer specializing in false flag and deniability missions, the screenwriter should have backed up a hundred pages and rewrote the opening of the movie.

If a "law abiding citizen" happens to have first-hand knowledge of top military secrets was attacked and his family brutally murdered, I would bet cold hard cash a US military acronym would arrive, take Butler's account of the event as gospel and then round up the two suspects and offer them, not only, a free trip to Guantanamo, but also a lifetime supply of cockmeat sandwiches. End of movie. The press and local police would not know a thing, let alone Jamie Foxx.

This is just common sense - there would be so many red flags in this case it would be taken over by the CIA/DoD/NSA faster than an emo Kristen Stewart chewing her scenery. Were these two burglars actually assassins for a foreign power? Were they trying to steal military secrets? Is Clyde Shelton a double agent? Was it a random robbery? Was this just another shitty script greenlit by some asshole studio exec doing his nephew a favour? At least we have the answer to the last question.

Law Abiding Citizen gets a rating of:

1½ out of 4 STARS AND A SCRIPT WITH 300 UNECCESSARY PAGES.

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