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Sunday, March 21, 2010

Movie Review: Where the Wild Things Are

Where the Wild Things AreI never wanted to see this movie. All of us however will inevitably be forced to watch something at the behest of our significant others, so I guess it was my turn. Like many people, she had loved the book as a child. If I were to try to put into words how much she was disappointed by this film I would say it would be like promising a blind child eyesight for Christmas and then giving him a cold rat's testicle instead. That should give you an idea of just how far the film departs from the book.

This movie is truly AWFUL. I said it before but it bears repeating, watching this movie is like being trapped in an insane asylum for 90 minutes except the inmates are all razor-fanged monsters who may eat you at any moment.

"But it looks so GOOD!" the critics opine. Yes indeed it does, that's part of what makes it SO damned awful. You see, I'm a technical effects guy, not easily impressed by film wizardy, but this impressed me. The way they matched the digital facial animations to the live action costumes of the wild beasts was fantastic. Too bad they pissed it all away with an incoherent, fever dream of a script.

Now while I'm not sure, I think I get what the director wanted to do. He was trying to tell a story the way a child would. Ever hear a kid tell a story? It's a mess. They just randomly string ideas together in a limited framework. It makes perfect sense to them, but to any adult it's just babble held loosely together with lots of "and then"s and "you know what?"s and "so then this other guy"s.

That's all this movie is. A bunch of vignettes about an island full of retarded psychopaths strung together with the all the logic one could expect from someone who just downed three shots of Jack Daniels and a half a bottle of NyQuil. In and of itself, that's enough of a tragedy, but when you stop to think about the COST of this film and the technology that had to be developed just to create it... all those man hours... wasted. I simply don't think I could hate it more.

Where The Wild Things Are gets ZERO stars. Don't buy it, don't rent it. Don't even look at it in the stores. If and when it eventually comes on TV, and you see it, change the channel. If you loved the book, stick with the book. In no way will it benefit you to watch this deranged nightmare given life.

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5 Comments:

  • lol I wonder who can give out the most scathing criticism for a movie review....you or zain? it's hard to tell lol but yeah with most movies from books or wherever else, it's almost guaranteed to be frustratingly bad, just because of creative liberties alone they're so afraid to try out new ideas that they would rather bank on established ideas in order to make money.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Sun Mar 21, 06:28:00 PM  

  • This review makes me want to see this movie. Would it be a better if watched from the perspective of being a psycological horror instead of a children's movie?

    By Blogger Zain, at Sun Mar 21, 06:36:00 PM  

  • Even if you watched with a perspective of mind similar to what the movie "The Cell" presents I still think you'd be hard pressed to find the experience worthwhile. It's not LIKE a psychological horror, it IS psychological horror!

    By Blogger CapnG, at Mon Mar 22, 04:32:00 PM  

  • I just watched this trainwreck and it felt like Satan was licking my brain the whole time I was watching it.

    By Blogger Zain, at Thu Apr 01, 09:05:00 PM  

  • You were warned!

    By Blogger CapnG, at Sun Apr 04, 11:00:00 PM  

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