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Sunday, March 07, 2010

The Oscars Suck Like The Groupies At Its Afterparty

Hollywood BSThe Academy AwardsTM are currently underway where actors and movie producers self-gratify each other on live TV, letting the entire planet know how great they are because, evidently, being multi-multi-millionaires just isn't enough. So how about I put the Oscars in pespective for all those in attendance at the Kodak Theatre.

There were 518 movies released in 2009. Out of those 518, the "Academy" could only find ten films worth nominating. That means Hollywood only did a good job 1.93% of the time last year. Try being that unproductive at your day job and see how long you last before HR staples a pink slip to your forehead, let alone give you a gold statue. Only Hollywood would pat itself on the back for failing so miserably.

Everyone involved with the Academy Awards is an idiot including all the people that watch such award show drivel.

"We want to thank all of you for watching us congratulate ourselves tonight." - Warren Beatty addressing viewers at the 1976 Academy Awards

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2 Comments:

  • I don't know about that... at least those after-party whores are EARNING their pay...

    By Blogger CapnG, at Mon Mar 08, 12:32:00 AM  

  • I'll gladly concede that the Oscars are nothing more than a giant gilded circle jerk. Oh no, Meryl Streep didn't win best actress. How ever will she sleep tonight without that gold statue? Oh that's right, on a bed padded with fucktillions of dollars. However, the Hollywood types do tend to care about these statues. Thus I feel it is important to point out one thing. Avatar only won two more gold statues than did Star Trek. Cameron spent the GNP of a dozen third world nations on that picture and the best he could walk away with was two more Oscars than the Star Trek reboot. Perhaps there is some small justice in the universe.

    By Anonymous Norinn Radd, at Mon Mar 08, 08:59:00 AM  

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